When You are the Overwhelmed Mom at Church

To the overwhelmed mom at church in front of me,
It was just the other Sunday. My family of 9 had just filed into our pew before Sunday Mass. We had already gotten as situated as we were going to – coats off, Mass books out, and nursing wrap at the ready, when your young family of 5 filed into the pew in front of us.
We have never officially met, but I see you there every week in some form or fashion. With 4 very young boys, I know that it’s not easy for you. I want you to know that you are doing a great job!
I remember when I was the overwhelmed mom at church
It feels like it was just yesterday, and yet so long ago at the same time. We had four young children, 4 years old and younger – one girl and three boys.

Getting to church was always a bit of an ordeal. We needed to make sure everyone had eaten, all were dressed appropriately, and diapers changed. Once potty training had started, someone always needed to go to the bathroom at the last minute or just as we settled into a pew.
At that stage, everyone still needed my help. A shoe or article of clothing was always missing no matter how hard I tried to keep track. Then I had to make sure that I was also presentable, even when it felt like nothing fit right.
We always sat behind my in-laws at church
It wasn’t your typical in-law scenario. My youngest sister-in-law was just 6 years old by the time my oldest was 4 years old, and there were seven others still at home above her.
I remember staring at them all sitting perfectly in their pew. I still hold that image in my mind. It gave me hope that, one day, my loud and wriggling youngsters would also be able to sit quietly and participate in the Mass.
There were so many times when we had to take someone to the back of church because they were too loud. Many times it was my husband taking them in the back, and I just prayed that the others would sit quietly until he returned. This was especially true if I had a nursing infant. So often God answered those prayers.

Even so, every time a toy or book dropped, I winced at the noise it made. The kids liked to see better by standing on the kneelers, but sometimes they would slip and hurt themselves. I would quickly and anxiously try to quiet the erupting cry as I comforted the child. We affectionately called all of these little happenings “Mass Aerobics,” because it felt like we were constantly moving.
If you are the overwhelmed mom at church today
I am so happy to see you there! Bringing them to church with you is so hard right now, but you are giving them such a beautiful gift. Some days it may not seem like it’s worth it, but it is!

You may not have heard any of the readings or the homily, but the graces received are still there. As you encourage your children to look at the crucifix or the beautiful images in the church, you are pointing them to the one thing that really matters in life.
So take heart and be encouraged. Your busy pew is not an annoyance, but a beautiful witness to God’s love.
My children are older now
While there is still much formation to be had, we don’t have the same level of activity in our pew that we used to. Yes, we still have young ones, but they benefit from seeing the older kids. However, there are times when you will still find us in the back, or hear random sounds coming from our direction.
Nowadays, I look back on the image in my mind of my in-laws and realize that we are now there – and, one day, you will be too.

If you see an overwhelmed mom at church today
Give her a smile and let her know that they are doing a great job. Those words carry so much weight in these early years. Send her this blog post if you can’t tell her in person, and to other young moms or dads you know who might need the extra encouragement.