Where Did Community Go?
Musings on our need for community, and how to achieve community in our fast-paced culture.
Community – A necessary part of life
In our culture, there is an underlying need for community. Even so, we feel less of a need to go out and create community with those around us. Yet, that is what we need to do because community is created – it rarely just comes to be by chance.
In our culture today, there is a sense of entitlement around our time and on the expectations of others. If it’s too uncomfortable or causes us to go out of our way, then how often do we bother? Yet, we desire community. How often do you see moms on social media asking where their village is? Here’s just one out of many threads.
We desire community, but are unwilling to be uncomfortable for a time in order to create the community we desire. Can we really complain about our lack of a village while simultaneously saying we’re too tired, or busy, or unable to be bothered to interact with others?
Community is built on intentional action
Community is built by going outside of our comfort zones. It’s built by intentionally developing relationships with others.
We start by committing to activities and events that we enjoy, but that we know that other people in our desired community will also attend. By doing so, you start to have conversations – you start to have reasons to have conversations.
You start to become aware of those around you – you become aware of both your similarities and differences. You start to see where you could serve the other and where the other person could help you. Over time, you build trust. Once trust has developed, then you learn how to become vulnerable.
It is in this vulnerability that we can truly have and develop community
Maybe we have lost our sense of community because we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Instead, we protect ourselves by putting up barriers at every remark instead of seeking to understand the intent behind what a person says or does.
We have discovered that vulnerability leads us to being hurt. More and more, in our world of convenience and comfort, we steer away from becoming hurt. Is our culture of convenience the reason we struggle to establish community?
The convenience of social media and its impact on vulnerability
Why is vulnerability scary? Could it be that the impact of social media is scaring us away from being vulnerable? Online and in person vulnerability used to be different. Hiding behind a screen, it’s easy to forget the impact of our words on others.
Yet, as we continue to speak hurtful or judgmental things behind a screen, it then becomes easier to speak hurtful or judgmental things in person. No wonder we are scared of being truly vulnerable with others.
We’ve conditioned ourselves to isolate ourselves away from others
What is that doing to our mental health, to our well-being, to our homes, and to our families? We are not created for isolation. Social media is a poor substitute for full human connection. What is the impact of isolation on our lives? No wonder we live in a world of increased depression and suicide.
It’s time to take a stand
Each one of us must make a decision. We must take intentional action to foster relationships; to get out and be with other people; to practice vulnerability. Let’s remember to listen and not judge the vulnerability of others, to speak truth, to remember tact, to practice patience and prudence and self-control. It’s time to be courageous, to develop social endurance, to offer and ask for help and support from our fellow human beings. Above all, we must look at one another with love and compassion.
Then and Now
In the olden days, community was necessary for survival on a physical level. In our time it is necessary on a mental and emotional level. They were busy just trying to survive, yet they still made time for one another. They came together in their leisure, but we isolate in our leisure.
It’s time to change that. Let’s learn how to come together once again. It starts within our own families. Dinners together. Games and movies together. Outings together. From there, that sense of togetherness, community, and love can extend outwards to our communities.
We can discover community once again. Are you willing to try and persevere?
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