How to Create More Time for the Important Things in Life
In our increasingly busy world, there is a growing desire, deep in the hearts of mothers, to create more time for what matters most – our families. Yet, that deep desire is often suffocated by the overwhelm of feeling like we’re not doing enough.
Enough is a funny word. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes it as, “in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or that is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction.”
While we often look to others to determine if what we’re doing really is enough, the above definition suggests that the true determining factor must come from within ourselves. That’s easier said than done as we are constantly bombarded with other people’s ideals.
Know your priorities
Those ideals are not bad in and of themselves. Many times they help shape our own ideals and values around the many different facets of life.
However, you still have to have some kind of an understanding around your own priorities in order to create more time, and to understand what ideals make the most sense in your current season of life.
According to A Mother’s Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot, for the married mother, there are 5 primary priorities that we must take into consideration: Prayer (relationship with God), Person (one’s own basic needs surrounding sleep and nutrition), Partner (relationship with spouse), Parent (relationship with children), and Provider (Job and/or the care and upkeep of the home).
One of the biggest mistakes I see moms make is having their priorities out of order. Many times, I see their priority as parent at the top of the list. Yet, that’s not how we should operate.
When ordered properly, as listed above, everything else falls into place.
Prayer
I have found this to be very true in my own life. When I make time for my relationship with God, I have a greater capacity for my other relationships and to do’s in life. While this can happen at any time of day, I make a concerted effort to honor my dedicated morning prayer time.
Person
I used to struggle with this one a lot. Having myself towards the top of the list felt selfish. Yet, as moms, if our basic needs aren’t met, then we are unable to truly care for those around us.
Although nice on occasion, this doesn’t mean going for mani/pedis or massages. This does mean that we make an effort to get a decent amount of sleep at night and eat the right food for our bodies to function appropriately.
Partner
When I make time for my husband and our marriage, my husband and I have less misunderstandings and our goals are aligned. Plus, the children respond better because they feel that their lives are secure.
Over the years, we try to have at least one night a week for one another. This doesn’t mean we go out every week (because we don’t), but we at least cuddle on the couch and chat or watch a show together.
Parent
Developing my relationship with my kids means taking care of their physical needs, homeschooling, and taking time to cuddle and love on them. It also means that I am mentally available to them, or if I can’t at that moment, that they know I will make the time to be available as soon as I’m done with whatever I can’t take my mind off of.
As my kids get older, it’s also showing interest in their interests and encouraging them as they pursue those interests. I also have the opportunity and the duty to help them manage their own time and priorities.
Some families have intricate systems of 1:1 time with their kids, but for us, it happens more or less naturally through the day. Since developing those relationships with your kids can be a bit more nuanced, play around with it a bit to discover what works best for you and your family.
Provider
While this can mean earning an income or maybe some extra cash from a side job, that isn’t all it entails. Meal planning, cooking nourishing food, and caring for and maintaining our homes, all fall under the provider role.
Manage your time wisely
It’s not enough to just know your priorities to create more time, you need to take active measures to make sure that they are actually being met. The best way to do this is to schedule it into your planner or calendar.
I’m not joking – GO, get whatever it is that you use to keep track of appointments, and schedule in your prayer time, date nights, and anything else that would fall into the above categories.
From there, you’ll have a realistic idea of what else you can add. However, I want to encourage you to leave some white space. Leave some time open – that isn’t scheduled. This unscheduled time is your opportunity to breathe and is part of the “person” category.
The to do list
Many of us have a list of to do’s staring us at the face. It is one of the many ways we provide and care for our families. Yet, many times that list feels insurmountable. Instead of working through it, it feels easier to just stare at it hoping it will get done on its own. Other times, we end up working on it with so much focus that other priorities fall to the wayside.
To combat this, have a specific time set aside each day for your to do list, then schedule those to dos throughout the week. You will have more peace of mind and feel more productive knowing that time is set aside even if it varies a bit day to day.
Be flexible
Inevitably, something is going to go “wrong” or not according to schedule. Don’t be afraid to move some things around in order to create more time. This is another bonus to having some white space. It guarantees some flexibility to your day.
Activities and projects will go longer or take longer than you originally planned. A child is going to not be able to find her shoe at the last minute. Your azure standard order will be pushed back an hour. Having some buffer time helps ease the pain and rush of all of those.
Yet, even with some flexibility, there will be days where you will still feel like you’re not enough or not doing enough to create more time for the things that matter most. Those days can feel dismal, and you may feel like you’ll never figure it out.
In those moments of despair, you can shift your perspective
You may feel that what you’re doing is not enough, but what if God is using your littleness for His glory?
“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
What if less really is more? How could you create meaning and joy from the most simple activities?
“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.”
Romans 12:12
Are your ideals for your home, your family, and your life distracting you from where God has you right now? It’s so easy for those to become idols in our lives. How might God be asking you to give those ideals and dreams to Him and seek His will in your life?
Watch carefully then how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise, making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not continue in ignorance, but try to understand what is the will of the Lord.
Ephesians 5:15-17
