How to Handle the Uncertainty of the Housing Market as a Young Family

The uncertainty of the housing market is a very real issue for many Americans today, but especially for young families. Many days, it feels like inflation is increasing faster than our paychecks, making buying a home seem always just out of reach. After a time, the uncertainty can start to feel unbearable, but there is always hope. Here is our story:

There was a time we didn’t feel the uncertainty of the housing market

Yes, this makes me sound old, but it was not all that long ago…

It was winter of 2012. Our third child had just been born that June, and we (*I*) desperately wanted a home we could call our own.

That year, I had spent many hours looking at houses for sale and lamenting the fact that I could not find any in our price range. It was a day like any other day, and I was once again searching for houses online.

As I scrolled down through the list of homes, a beautiful, little, blue colonial with two chimneys caught my eye. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the price. Before allowing myself to hope too much, I crunched the numbers – Yes! This could work!

Then I saw who the listing agent was. It was our previous landlord who we were on good terms with. It seemed all too perfect.

My husband was upstairs probably cleaning up from a day at work, so I texted him. “Eureka! I have found it!”

The rest is history. We contacted our old landlord, saw the house, fell even more in love, put an offer in, had the inspection, and finally moved in after a slight delay due to the holidays.

Our first encounter with the housing market was a wonderful experience. Although we had heard that we bought in a buyer’s market, we did not truly understand what that meant. It would only be about 6 short years later that we would first experience the uncertainty of the housing market.

A New Chapter

Due to some events that are not relevant to this story, we decided to sell our home and move our little family, now with five children, to another state. At first, we just needed a place to live, so we started out living with my parents until we found a rental. Which we did end up finding about three months after our initial move in 2018.

It was a small, three bedroom, two bath townhouse about an hour from where we wanted to build community, but it served it’s purpose. We had a roof over our heads and a rent that was within our budget. Besides, we were not going to be living there very long any ways. Just until we found a place of our own to purchase – or so we thought.

Our first experience the uncertainty of the housing market

As the final months of the first year of our rental agreement loomed in front of us, we decided to start looking into buying a home. At this point, we were expecting our sixth child and the townhouse was becoming increasingly cramped.

We set out with high hopes! With the help of a realtor recommended to us by a family member, we started looking! And looking. And looking. We hadn’t come across the big interest increases yet that 2020 would bring, but everything we saw was just out of our budget.

Then we went to see this cute red house in a little town not far from where we wanted to build community. There was more room for our family to stretch out and for the kids to run around. With bated breath, we put in an offer! The kids were so excited.

The offer was turned down and the house was taken off the market. With sadness and a bit of confusion, we carried on and kept looking.

The events of 2020 increase the uncertainty of the housing market

Then came March 2020 and the world shut down.

Yet, we were still set on finding a home. Faced with increasing interest rates and all out bidding wars, we kept looking. Our budget increased, but so did the prices of the homes. It felt like we could never get ahead of it.

Caught in a cycle

After a while, we got tired or distracted with other life events. Covid weddings, births of nieces and nephews, personal goals, deaths, and more, pulled us in other directions. Honestly, though, there was a sense of defeat that came with each home that we had to pass up or were outbid on. Yet, with renewed interest or hope, we would try again. Only to face defeat once more.

It felt like an endless cycle that kept going on and on. We kept looking off and on through 2020, and 2021.

We move again

2022 found us still on a search for a home. We paid rent month to month just in case we found a place.

One afternoon, we went to a house in a quiet little neighborhood that we felt would suit our family well in it’s current season. However, once again, there were many offers on the table and we couldn’t go any higher.

As with many of these excursions, we had my parents with us to help guide us in our decision as we checked out the home. They saw the repeated looks of defeat after each showing. So my dad made us an offer.

They offered to have our family move back in to their house until we found something. We could save money on rent and be closer to community. After a bit of talking and praying, we took them up on their offer, and moved in the spring of 2022.

We were still faced with the uncertainty of the housing market

Honestly, once again, we thought that we would be out within a year. It was two years since the pandemic, and we thought interest rates and prices were sure to come down.

While the rates and prices weren’t really rising anymore, they weren’t coming down very fast either. That first year we kept busy. Another wedding was coming up that we were preparing for. It kept us emotionally distracted as we continued to look. It was a glorious and hopeful summer and a beautiful wedding.

An unfortunate turn of events

Not long after the wedding, my grandmother also came to live with my parents. With three generations under one roof, we were very thankful for my parent’s large home and their generosity. Yet, it wasn’t going to stay that way for long.

That summer our van broke down. With that we discovered that van prices had also been going up. All of the money we had been saving for a down payment on a house ended up having to go to a new van instead.

By the end of the year, my grandmother had passed away. Leading up to her death, she required more and more care. Thankfully, we had taken a break from looking at houses for the winter, so much of our focus could turn more inward.

Then, on the evening of my grandmother’s wake, my husband lost his job. It felt like a gut punch for both of us and like we just took two massive steps back from what we were trying to achieve.

Finally, while my husband was between jobs, we found out we were pregnant with baby #7. At this point, all we could do was laugh and throw our hands up to the Lord in surrender.

Another Year

You would think that this saga had to be close to it’s end, and it would be soon. First, we had to do some rebuilding.

My husband found another job, so his main focus was on establishing himself there. We didn’t do much house hunting at first. The uncertainty of the housing market was the least of our worries. It felt silly with things seemingly so volatile in those first few months of my husband starting his new job. Plus, morning sickness kept me close to the couch for a while.

Then we started to find a new rhythm, and the desire to find a new home became increasingly stronger. So we started to look again. In September, we took a break from house hunting to welcome our newest little one, but it wasn’t long before we started back up again.

A light at the end of the tunnel

In October, we put on offer on a beautiful old home with a large yard. It felt perfect. Yet, there were four other offers put on that house, and ours wasn’t the one accepted. November went by.

Then in December, about 2 weeks shy from the day my husband lost his job the year before, we put an offer on yet another house. It was a 1300sqft duplex, in a town that was further out than we were hoping, with “only” 1/8th of an acre, but it spoke to us. The next day, our realtor called saying that our offer was accepted.

After all of that time searching and waiting, it felt surreal.

Once again, the paperwork and inspection went through with barely a hitch, and we became home owners once again.

Tips for dealing with the uncertainty of the housing market

I think there are a lot of places that give the basics to dealing with the uncertainty of the housing market. Things like encouraging you to save as much as you can, budget well, get out of debt, work on your credit score, etc. However, there aren’t as many tips for the emotional side of dealing with this specific type of uncertainty, so that is what I’m going to address here in this post.

• Remember that God has a plan. There were so many times during this season of waiting and uncertainty where I would cry to God in desperation seeking for an answer. Although it was hard, it was necessary for our growth. If we had been given a home and everything we wanted in a home right away, there would be a sense of entitlement instead of gratitude. We were truly able to dig deep into gratitude for all of the things that we already had.

With that being said, dig into gratitude. Focus on everything you do have no matter how meager it may seem. Focus especially on gratitude in your relationships.

Look back in your life for proof of God providing for you in other situations. It doesn’t have to be a drastic example. What is one way in the every day that God provides for you? How about another way? Now, don’t be afraid to trust Him to provide in this bigger way.

• Let go of your expectations and ideals. This doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t have ideals or expectation, it just means don’t hold onto them so tightly. We can have them in our hands and at the same time offer them to our Lord. It’s amazing how He uses that surrender and gives us more than what we could ever have imagined for ourselves.

For instance, we are farther out from the community that we wanted to continue to be a part of. However, once I let that go, I was able to start to develop and be open to community here around me. I haven’t felt such a feeling of belonging for many, many years.

• Know that it’s okay to feel frustration and disappointment. They are very valid feelings as you deal with the uncertainty of the housing market. What you need to watch is how you act on those feelings. So often they can lead to us pulling away from God and others and lashing out at them. Instead, let it be an opportunity to lean into God and others and let yourself be loved. Give your frustrations to God, lean into your family, let them be a source of strength and this difficulty be something that you get through together.

Did you like this post? Pin it for later!