Building Community Through Acts of Kindness During the Holidays

Building community can feel daunting, especially as an introverted mom to many who already feels tapped out so much of the time. Yet, I’ve found that the thought of doing those acts of kindness is more overwhelming than actually just doing them, and the joy that comes with it is worth all the effort.

I get it. You only have so much energy available to give. The thought of making things or doing things for others sounds really nice. Then you start thinking about how much you will have to make, how long it’s going to take, and how much it’s going to cost. And you wonder if it’s really all worth it.

Just one batch of cookies takes some time to bake with just one oven and a couple of trays. That doesn’t even account for all of the interruptions that comes with having little ones. Bringing them in to help works for a bit, but then they get bored, you get tired, and it feels like it’s time to call it quits before the job is even half done.

That’s something that you wanted to avoid… feeling like building community through doing kind things for others as just one more job to do.

Before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself that it’s too much work in this season of your life. You decide that you will wait for an easier season. You will wait until you can finally feel the joy that you so want to feel throughout the whole process, instead of the overwhelm that comes with doing it now.

But what if what you have convinced yourself of is a lie?

Lie #1: If you’re going to do nice things for others to build community as a mom, then you have to do something for everyone in your community.

Yeah, in a perfect world it would be great to be able to serve everyone at once – fairly and equally. But that’s not always possible. And that’s okay. Choosing who will receive your acts of kindness isn’t about picking favorites. Look to where the needs are. Look to those you’ve been actively building relationship with in this season. Start there. If you need to be selective even with those, then that’s okay too.

Lie #2: The process of actually doing these acts of kindness with all of the interruptions takes away my joy.

I’m not going to promise that it won’t be challenging or that you won’t lose your temper here and there through the process. However, you always have a choice. I challenge you to challenge yourself to find the joy in each situation and each moment of this process. If you get frustrated or start to get overwhelmed, take a break. Step outside, take a deep breath of fresh air, and pick out 3 things that just transpired that you can look at from a different angle – a joyful angle. That mess of flour in your 4 year old’s hair and all over the floor? Did you notice the look of surprise on her face through the white fog of flour that filled the air? Joy. Take notice of those small, simple things and take joy in them. Take one more breath and head back inside.

Lie #3: There will be an easier season.

It’s easy to look to the future to provide for what we don’t have now. It’s easy to say that it will be easier when the kids get older. And that is true to some extent, except that there are just different types of easy and different types of hard. The challenges don’t go away just because the kids are older.

Satan likes to trap us in his lies. They keep us from acting. They keep up from building community. Because he knows that it is through our community that we can be strengthened in our vocation of motherhood.

Not only are we strengthened, but we have the ability to help support others in their vocations as well. We are strengthened as individuals; we are strengthened as community. In isolation, it is easy to give up hope. It is easy to feel alone in so many different ways. It is easy to dispair and question all that we do and all that we are.

In community, we have the opportunity to be uplifted and to uplift. We have the ability to encourage and be encouraged. We have the opportunity to be strong for one another in times of uncertainty.

Building community doesn’t mean that we are best friends with everyone. It means that we know that people will be there for us and that we will be there for them despite our similarities or our differences.

However, building community has to start somewhere.

One place it can start is through acts of kindness during the holidays. Whether big or small, many or few, I encourage you to decide what it is that you want to do and who you want to do it for.

Here are a few tried and true ideas to get you started:

• Christmas Cookies (I won’t tell anyone if you bought refrigerated dough)
• Small bottles of Vanilla Extract (However this has to be started 6-8 months prior)
• Watch Someone Else’s Kids So They Can Go Christmas Shopping
• Watch Someone Else’s Kids So They Can Go on a Date
• Fresh Baked Cinnamon Swirl Bread
• Fresh Baked Bread

I want to leave you with a story:

When we lived in Ohio , we bought our first home (Click here to read about our home-buying saga). That first Christmas in our new home, I decided to bake cookies for our neighbors. We had moved in right after New Year’s that year, so I had been looking forward to it all year. Growing up, we always made Christmas cookies for neighbors, friends, and family, and I really didn’t think there was any other way to show kindness during the holiday season.

We had developed a friendship with a kind, old gentleman across the alley, so we brought some cookies to his door. As he opened his door and we offered him the cookies with a “Merry Christmas”, his eyes lit up with surprise and gratitude. He had lived in the that neighborhood all of his life, and had never received a single Christmas cookie from one of his neighbors in all of that time. It was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

Over the 5 years that we lived there, I witnessed a bit of a transformation. Instead of us just giving to the neighbors, I witnessed a gradual increase in an exchange of treats between some of us during the holidays and through the year. Was this something that completely changed the world. No. Yet it was something that changed someone’s world just a little bit for the better.

I’m telling you. The joy that comes from building community through acts of kindness is worth it.

In the comments below, please share how you have made a difference in someone’s world through acts of kindness over the holidays OR how you plan to. I can’t wait to read all about it!