How to Keep Holiday Stress Low with Daily Rhythms and Routines

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to create the perfect holiday experience for our children and families. We want to make memories, enjoy traditions, prepare special meals, find the right gifts, and make the season meaningful.

But somewhere along the way, all that preparation can leave us frazzled. We’re trying to do it all and do it all well, and the people we’re doing it for end up getting the least of us. We snap at the kids, have less patience with our husbands, and sometimes feel surprisingly isolated in the middle of a season that’s supposed to bring us together.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

One of the best ways to keep holiday stress low is to pay attention to the ordinary rhythms of family life, even when the season gets busy.

In her book The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin writes, “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.” That’s a helpful reminder during the holidays. The parties, special outings, gift shopping, and big meals may take up a lot of our attention, but they aren’t the whole of family life. Our ordinary days still matter, too.

You don’t need to abandon your usual routines or create an entirely new schedule for the holidays. Instead, take a little time to decide what you want to keep, what needs to be added, and where you can make things simpler.

Start with the rhythms your family already has

Before you start filling your calendar with holiday activities and to-do lists, take a look at what an ordinary week in your home already looks like.

You don’t need an elaborate planner for this. A simple sheet of paper is enough. Jot down the things that tend to happen throughout your day and week, along with any commitments that aren’t easily moved.

Start with the basics:

• What time do you and the children usually wake up and go to bed?
• When do you typically eat meals?
• What parts of your day tend to be busy, and when do you have a little breathing room?
• Are there regular commitments, appointments, or activities that need to stay in place?
• Are there personal or family priorities, like prayer, rest, or time together, that you want to protect?

This gives you a picture of the time you actually have, rather than the time you wish you had.

It also helps you see which parts of your ordinary rhythm are worth keeping when the holidays arrive. Maybe your family still needs a reasonably consistent bedtime, a little quiet time in the afternoon, or a familiar meal routine. Those ordinary things might not seem especially exciting, but they can make a busy season feel a lot more manageable.

You don’t have to preserve every part of your usual schedule. Some things will naturally change, and that’s okay. The goal is simply to be intentional about what stays and what can be adjusted.

Start with the rhythms your family already has

Before you start filling your calendar with holiday activities and to-do lists, take a look at what an ordinary week in your home already looks like.

You don’t need an elaborate planner for this. A simple sheet of paper is enough. Jot down the things that tend to happen throughout your day and week, along with any commitments that aren’t easily moved.

Start with the basics:

• What time do you and the children usually wake up and go to bed?
• When do you typically eat meals?
• What parts of your day tend to be busy, and when do you have a little breathing room?
• Are there regular commitments, appointments, or activities that need to stay in place?
• Are there personal or family priorities, like prayer, rest, or time together, that you want to protect?

This gives you a picture of the time you actually have, rather than the time you wish you had.

It also helps you see which parts of your ordinary rhythm are worth keeping when the holidays arrive. Maybe your family still needs a reasonably consistent bedtime, a little quiet time in the afternoon, or a familiar meal routine. Those ordinary things might not seem especially exciting, but they can make a busy season feel a lot more manageable.

You don’t have to preserve every part of your usual schedule. Some things will naturally change, and that’s okay. The goal is simply to be intentional about what stays and what can be adjusted.

Make room for the holiday tasks that actually matter

Once you have a picture of your ordinary family rhythm, you can start thinking about what needs to be added for the holidays.

This is where it’s easy to get carried away. There are gifts to buy and wrap, special meals to plan, cookies to bake, events to attend, and all the little details that seem to multiply as the holidays get closer.

Before you start adding everything to your calendar, take a minute to decide what really needs to happen. What are the things that matter to your family? What needs to be done, and what would simply be nice if you had the time?

Then look at your ordinary rhythm and decide where those responsibilities can fit.

For example:

• Shopping and gifts: Decide when you’ll do your shopping, whether online or in person. Set aside time for wrapping gifts, too, and figure out where you’ll hide them until it’s time.
• Meals and groceries: Plan when you’ll do your regular meal planning and grocery shopping, taking holiday meals into account. For example, I meal plan and grocery shop every two weeks. If a holiday meal falls during that time, I’ll include the planning and shopping for that meal in my usual routine rather than treating it as an entirely separate project.
• Food preparation: If you’re hosting or bringing food somewhere, decide whether you need a little extra time for baking or meal prep ahead of time.
• Travel and guests: If you’re traveling, leave time for laundry and packing. If you’re hosting overnight guests, think through what needs to be cleaned and prepared before they arrive.
• Activities for the kids: If your children will be home from school, consider what their days might look like. You don’t have to plan every minute, but having a few ideas ready can make the break easier for everyone.
• Family traditions and activities: Make room for the special things you want to do together, whether that’s attending an event, baking cookies, visiting family, or enjoying a few Christ-centered activities.

As you make these decisions, keep your family’s needs and energy levels in mind. If your toddler is an absolute bear without his afternoon nap, going shopping with him in tow during that time probably isn’t the best option. If everyone is already stretched thin, adding another evening activity might not be worth it.

And don’t fill every open space just because it’s there. Leave room for rest, ordinary family life, and the unexpected. A little white space in your schedule can make a big difference when things get busy.

If you’re looking for more ideas for keeping your family’s routine manageable during the holidays, you might also enjoy how to have a less stressful family routine during the holidays.

Leave room for real life

You can make a thoughtful plan, look at your family’s usual rhythms, and find a place for all the holiday preparations. But that doesn’t mean everything will go according to plan.

It happens to the best of us. Your daily rhythm is happily staring back at you on paper, and you’ve managed to fit in all that you need to get done as you approach each holiday. Then you get started, and…

• A child gets sick, so the family never gets to go out to get the Christmas tree. Your husband ends up getting one from the Boy Scouts down the road instead.
• Your potatoes burn as you prepare some of the food for Thanksgiving dinner, and you spend extra time getting everything into a new pan so the burnt parts don’t contaminate the rest of the food.
• Packing for your trip takes longer than you expected, so you leave later than you intended.

This is life. Even the best plans have to make room for the unexpected.

The point of having a rhythm isn’t to make sure every day goes exactly as planned. It’s to give your family a little structure to fall back on when things get busy, while leaving enough flexibility to adjust when they don’t.

You can spend the day frustrated because things didn’t go the way you expected, or you can take a breath, adjust, and be thankful for what did go well. Sometimes the Christmas tree comes from the Boy Scouts instead of a family outing. Sometimes dinner looks a little different than you planned. And sometimes you simply have to let something go.

That’s okay. Your family doesn’t need a perfect holiday. They need you to be present in the life you’re living, even when it doesn’t look quite like the one you planned.

Make time to step back and notice the good

A routine or daily rhythm is really just a series of habits that we’ve grown accustomed to doing over time. And one habit worth making room for, especially during the holidays, is the habit of stepping back.

It’s easy to get so caught up in everything that’s happening that we forget to actually enjoy it. We move from one task to the next, checking things off our lists and trying to keep everything on track. But sometimes the best thing we can do is pause for a moment.

• Notice the smiles on your children’s faces.
• Take a moment to look your husband or child in the eye and tell them how much you love them.
• Laugh when something doesn’t go quite as planned.
• Step outside for a little fresh air when the house feels especially busy.
• Take a moment to thank God for the good in the ordinary day you’re living.

These little pauses don’t make the work disappear, but they can help us remember why we’re doing it in the first place.

If you’re finding it difficult to experience joy when the season feels overwhelming, I’ve shared some more thoughts in how to have a joyful Christmas when you’re feeling stressed.

And don’t underestimate the importance of gratitude. Without it, even the best plans and the most perfectly executed holiday preparations can leave us feeling like something is still missing.

The holidays are a wonderful opportunity to make memories and enjoy special traditions with our families. But the meaning of the season isn’t found in how much we accomplish or how perfectly everything comes together. It’s found in the gift of Christ and the life we’re already sharing with the people around us.

If you’d like a little help making space for prayer during this busy season, you might also enjoy my post on daily devotions for moms for the busy holiday season.