How to Have Less Stress About Christmas this Holiday Season

Every year I have this grand vision for the Advent and Christmas season — and nowhere in that vision do I plan to feel any stress about Christmas. I imagine smiling children throughout all of December, peaceful Advent devotions with everyone calm and attentive, and joyful Christmas tree picking and light-seeing. Plus, there’s the added bonus that I have all the gifts selected, purchased, and wrapped early on in the season so that all I have to worry about is enjoying it.

Yet, time and time again, that vision is shattered by the realities of the human experience. The kids don’t seem to get the hint and continue to bicker in the days leading up to Christmas. Our Advent devotions include broken candles, missed days, and shouts for everyone to “please be quiet.” Then there’s always a complaint from someone who’s fed up with the special Christmas activity, and I’m met with the question, “Are we do…ne ye…t?” And, of course, very rarely (probably never) does all of my Christmas shopping get done early in the season.

Early on in my motherhood, I would get really frustrated and discouraged by all the mishaps that took place. However, I started to realize that I could have goals and plans for the season, but that I still had to manage my expectations around how it was actually going to play out — it’s okay if it’s not perfect. This mindset shift has made the Advent and Christmas season so much more enjoyable despite the chaos. You can also experience less stress about Christmas by resetting your expectations this holiday season and taking some simple action steps.

Manage Your Expectations

Our expectations tend to manage us more than we realize. While expectations can be good for setting a standard, there are seasons where previous expectations just aren’t realistic. When you start to stress about Christmas, pause and remind yourself that expectations are often what create the pressure — not the season itself.

Peace Is Not the Absence of External Chaos

Life is busy and the kids are loud, but peace first has to be fostered on the inside. Don’t get me wrong — I totally get the correlation between external chaos and internal chaos. As Christians, we know that true peace comes from Our Lord. Still, when we stress about Christmas, it’s often a sign that we’re relying too much on our own control instead of His grace. We have to be honest with ourselves and make sure that we’re not using external chaos as an excuse to avoid developing that inner peace through our faith.

Cut Down Your Gift List — You Don’t Need to Have Something for Everyone

One of the biggest sources of stress about Christmas often comes from gift giving. As a person who loves to give gifts, this is a hard pill to swallow. Yet, if giving those gifts ends up creating more stress than joy, it’s okay to pare down. One reason it can feel hard to take someone off the list is because we’ve tied our worth to the act of giving. Please know that not giving a gift doesn’t make you any less of a person or friend.

It’s Okay to Let Some Things Go

I will have you create a list of all the activities you want to complete this season. But this is where you need to be realistic about what you can actually accomplish. Those activities are meant to enrich your family life and draw you closer to Our Lord as you prepare for His coming — not to add more stress about Christmas. Take an honest look at why you want to do a certain activity and whether it’s truly necessary. If we’re not careful, even good goals can become idols, and we miss the point entirely.

Start Thinking About Christmas by Mid-November

This could be earlier if you’re feeling productive. Many times, we’re already getting inquiries from grandparents about what the kiddos will want for Christmas (I’ve totally already told my mom that I wasn’t quite prepared yet). Thinking about Christmas by mid-November allows you to at least have wish lists and a few of these other things in place.

Make a List of What Activities Are Important for You to Complete

Have you ever gotten to the end of a season and wondered where the time went? You had all of these thoughts and ideas that never ended up happening. Getting those thoughts out of your head, on paper, and most importantly, communicated with your spouse makes it more likely that you will actually do them. Start by doing a brainstorming session, and then paring down the list to what you believe is truly manageable.

Get the Supplies That You’ll Need (Advent candles, wrapping paper, extra tape, etc.)

Once you know what you want to do, knowing what you need should be easy. But you have to actually get the things (novel idea — I know). Yet, who else has a candle-less Advent wreath until week two? Or maybe you’ve also realized that you don’t have any wrapping paper or tape when you sit down to wrap presents. I can’t be the only one.

Loosely Decide When to Do Your Time-Dependent Activities

Wish lists, shopping, tree hunting, seeing Christmas lights — these all take time. Once you know what you want to do, you still have to decide when you’ll actually do them. December always fills up fast, so if getting a tree is important to you, putting a date on the calendar now will help you out tremendously down the road.

Feeling the Weight of the Season Already?

If you want to manage your days with more peace and less stress about Christmas, my Intentional Day Blueprint will help you create daily rhythms that support a calm, Christ-centered home — even during the busiest time of year.
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Develop a Christmas Rhythm

This isn’t very different from creating a homeschool rhythm or a summer rhythm. Here you’ll take into account the unique aspects of the season so that your days can continue to flow well.

Set Aside Extra Time for Christmas Prep

Time blocking is a great way to make sure that you get your Christmas prep done. Whether it’s gift wrapping or decorating, it’s much easier to finish when time is already set aside for it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t relish the idea of wrapping gifts late on Christmas Eve. My kids get up way too early for that!

Take a look at your planner. Is there a specific time of day a couple of days a week where you can get these things done? Go ahead and block it off now.

Since you’re preparing for Christmas, you may also want to spend some time preparing your heart. This would be a great time to set aside intentional prayer time if you don’t already have one.

Create a Running List of To-Dos

This is where we get into the nitty-gritty of getting it all done so that you don’t stress about Christmas. As Advent and Christmas-related tasks come to mind, write them down. This could be in your notes app, on a notepad specifically for this purpose, or in a special space in your planner. The important thing is to get it out of your head and onto some kind of “paper.”

Take Time in the Morning to Assign Your To-Dos for the Day

Blocked-off time, meet to-do list. To-do list, meet blocked-off time. Your planner and your to-do list should work hand in hand. Now that you’ve blocked time for Christmas-related tasks, you can start assigning items from your list to those time blocks. I like to do this a week or a day at a time, depending on what kind of mood I’m in — or how life is going.

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A Final Word

Stress about Christmas is what we make it to be. It’s easy to get caught up in the to-dos (even the religious ones) and forget who we’re celebrating.

Even if things don’t go according to plan, the most important thing to remember is that God is still with us. He’s with us in the mess and in the tantrums. He’s with us as we crunch numbers, wondering how to stretch the Christmas budget. And He’s with us when all we want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

And we have a choice: we can either throw up our hands and become bitter, or we can ask Our Lord how He is inviting us to grow in this season of preparation for His coming.

That’s what managing our expectations helps us do when we start to stress about Christmas — it shifts our focus away from ourselves and back toward God.

If you’re craving less chaos and more peace, it starts with resetting expectations and keeping your eyes on Him. I’ve found that building small, intentional rhythms into my days has been the biggest game-changer. That’s exactly what I share in The Intentional Day Blueprint — a Christ-centered approach to structuring your day so you can live with more peace, purpose, and presence this Christmas season.

Not quite ready for the Intentional Day Blueprint but want to see one example of what an intentional day with simple, flexible rhythms could look like? Download my Free Daily Schedule for Stay at Home Moms.